If you've read Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," watched the adapted Disney film, or encountered any of its numerous variations, you likely recall the dialogue between Alice and the Cheshire Cat. When Alice asks which way she should go, the cat responds with a question, asking where she wants to end up. "It doesn't matter much to me," replies Alice. The cat then wisely says, "Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

All too often, people wander without a purpose, hoping to stumble upon something that makes them happier, more fulfilled, and more successful. Their desires for increased happiness, fulfillment, and success remain mere wishes unsupported by action-oriented goals.

The two key points you have total control over in your life are where you currently are and where you want to be. Setting goals allows you to move from your current position to where you aspire to be. Depending on your destination, this may involve setting short or long-term goals. For one person, a long-term goal may be achieved within a month; for another, the result lies three years in the future.

Whether you have a long-term or short-term goal, it's crucial to maintain focus on the present and continue moving toward your desired destination. The fact is, we all change—no matter how you look at it, in three, five, or ten years, we all become different people. It's up to us to ensure that this change is for the better.

So, why not set a goal that will positively change your life? Research has shown that individuals with specific goals have greater drive, experience more joie de vivre, and are more successful than those who aimlessly navigate life.

For many, goal-setting is something they know they should do and understand its benefits, yet they choose not to incorporate it into their daily rituals and habits.

The reason for this reluctance stems from the two intrinsic motivators each of us possesses: pain and pleasure. The association with pain prevents one from starting something because they link the beginning, the process, or the outcome with something painful.

There are three primary reasons people avoid setting goals—even though they know it would lead to a better quality of life:

**“You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures.” – Charles C. Noble**

Reason #1 – I Don't Want to Disappoint Myself

"Disappointment requires adequate planning." – Richard Bandler

My first mentor said long ago that an unspoken expectation, especially toward others, is a planned disappointment. In other words, if you expect something to happen a certain way, and the result doesn't align, you experience disappointment. People avoid the potential disappointment of goal-setting because they have certain expectations about how that goal should be achieved. Past experiences have conditioned them to believe that outcomes rarely align with expectations and often deviate or are further away than desired.

Disappointment only occurs when you give up before reaching your intended result and refuse to make adjustments that could lead to your success. The most significant disappointment, however, is that giving up before starting prevents you from truly bringing out the best in yourself and offering the life you desire.

Reason #2 – I Don't Want to Be Tied Down

"As simplistic as this may sound, commitment is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret." – Tony Robbins

The feeling of being tied to a goal once it's set or expressed to oneself or others deters some from setting goals. Nobody wants to feel tied down because it creates a sense of obligation. When you feel you must do something, the initial reaction is resistance, leading to a feeling of reluctance.

The irony is that not setting goals leaves you tied down where you are, unable to make progress. The fact that a goal requires commitment is not a matter of being "tied down"; it's a matter of doing "whatever it takes to get there." Take another look at the first quote above: a long-term goal gives you the focus and motivation to overcome short-term setbacks. Without setting short or long-term goals, all that remains is facing setbacks, and the more you endure setbacks without knowing why you want to progress or achieve more in your life, the greater the motivation to become unhappy. This applies to personal development, as well as your career, relationships, health, finances, and, of course, your ikigai.

Reason #3 – I'm Afraid of What Happens If I Fail

"There are no failures – only feedback." – Richard Bandler

We all deal with fear. Just as there are at least fifty shades of grey in the book or film, there are at least as many types of fear. Fear of failure ranks among the top 5 fears that hold us back.

If you objectively look at the message of fear, you see that it wants to warn you about what's to come. It indicates that you might need better preparation because your current preparations don't make you confident about achieving your goal. Fear is not a good advisor, but it is an excellent consultant, providing feedback that you need to take action to reach your goal.

What often happens, however, is that fear paralyzes people. The fear, now an entity in your mind, shouts louder, faster, and more fiercely than before, listing all possible doomsday scenarios. When you heed these messages and start believing what you tell yourself is true, you stop doing what you're doing and keep as far away from it as possible. The pain-pleasure principle plays a crucial role in this process.

The truth is, no one can assert with certainty what will happen based on a hypothesis or assumption—a presumption before the event occurs. We all engage in this in the form of 'What if...' questions, where we ask ourselves, 'What if this happens?' or 'What if that person says or does this?' All of these are theories based on incomplete information.

The fastest and perhaps best way to deal with fear, assumptions, and hypothetical conjectures is to go through them; take the first step and keep going. The most significant counteraction to fear is action. Fear is based on theory, whereas results are based on action: Face the fear and do it anyway.

The only time you fail is when you give up before reaching your goal. Until then, regardless of how many obstacles you have to overcome or have overcome, you are on the path to success. Moreover, you cannot speak of 'failure' or 'failure'; there is only feedback and information.

This is my conclusion: you can come up with countless excuses not to set goals, but there is only one reason why you should set your goal, and that is because you know that you live with more possibilities and opportunities to truly live your ultimate life. Don't keep yourself small; don't live in false modesty; believe in the inexhaustible power you possess. Awaken the possibilities.

This is my question for you today: what are your thoughts on setting goals? Do you believe in their value, or are you skeptical and doubtful if it really works?

Please leave your comment below, and I'll be sure to respond.

To your success,

Robert