Some encounters leave a deep impression. In the last few months I have met a lot of new people with whom I have been able to build a very special relationship. David from Plymouth, who I met during a festival and with whom I had the honor to spend some time with yesterday is one of them; from the heart-warming welcome to the loving farewell, I have experienced every minute as special. The question with which I am starting this article is: what does the other person mean to you?

It sounds like a cliché: when I go out and take on new adventures and challenges – whether in my own country or abroad – I often meet one or two people who stand out more than others, and with whom I almost immediately feel a ‘click’. For me, that “click” is a spark of connection, a mirror to myself and a light in my own, yet unknown, darkness.

What touched me the most in all these contacts was the openness and authenticity with which I was allowed to meet these unique people. Even though the subjects are often so diverse that I can literally talk about a hundred and one topics, it’s the underlying authenticity and heart connection of the other that appeals to me so much and allows me to see what special men and women there are outside of my own world. For each of them I see the meaning that they have in my life, even if it’s just a single encounter.

This past year I’ve met with thousands of people. My work allows me to travel a lot and at the same time it gives me the opportunity to sometimes meet someone with whom I feel that click, and vice versa; where the click is mutually perceptible and a wonderful and deeper encounter may take place, where masks of the apparently unbeatable and perfection projected images conceal the uncertain, frightened or pained egos. When those masks are no longer needed to really show yourself for who you are, in all your strength and vulnerability, then it’s those new encounters that can show you the reflection to yourself.

In my meeting with David it was the soft masculine side that I was allowed to see, and which I also saw in myself; the Yin in the Yang. The softness in the power. And also the power in vulnerability – the Yang inside the Yin. For me, that is inspiration for deepening, for self-insight and ultimately for personal self-development; development that leads to the core of my true “me.”

In my conversation with him we touched on a core in an important theme: you are not a person who has a spiritual experience, but a spirit who has a human experience. It is so easy to attend and perform countless ceremonies and rituals to get closer to the Source of true existence; that source already lives in you. That’s you. Or as the Persian poet once put it so beautifully: “You are not a drop in the ocean, but you are the entire ocean within the drop”. The realization that we have a human experience means that we can learn to strengthen and expand our basis from that infinite Source in the years that we are here. And how do you do that better than introspection, self-reflection and mirrors towards yourself through others?

The basis

It is the connection that you have with the other that forms the basis for mutual self-reflection, and connection, both with yourself and with the other. It is that basis that provides authenticity and authentic contact where you can truly be yourself without the masks and facades and disguises, but rather the solid raw and pure authenticity in which all scars and healed fractures may be visible to act as a reminder of a life that was not perfect but valuable because it is lived through.

The basis of life is guts, and yes, guts are needed to really show yourself for who you are; not for who you want you to be or hope that others think you are. Just like self-confidence, the contact from your Self to others is that it has to be the strongest to be able to carry all layers above it. When the basis comes from your authenticity, you can not only stand in your vulnerability from your strength, but also deal much more easily with the world outside of you, and all the people who are not on the same wavelength in.

We all give substance to what others mean to us, more than a label of neighbor, acquaintance, colleague, friend or loved one. It is from the reflection that you can see where the other person reflects you, what makes him or her that nice person – and what makes you that nice person for the other. This insight not only made me realize that the other person is the pure person he or she sees in me; at the same time I realized that I would not have this insight without being able to be in contact to discover this in myself. Although we can’t or don’t have to be everyone’s friend, there are always equal and genuine contacts that show you the diversity of who you really are … as long as you dare to look into those mirrors. I call that real unity, or as David quoted it in his own poetic words:

“In the centre
Stillness is
To go to the one who could show me my own
And rest
At One
Here “

Authenticity. That’s what it’s about. Between all the paint-brushed magazine photos and perfected derivation ads to remain able to stay yourself and live from your heart, or even better, your soul

Regardless of your gender, age, background, culture or upbringing – what makes you who you are can be seen in the contacts that are closest to you. At the same time, they are your teachers for whom you can embark on a journey of discovery even more for yourself to discover your true self. New contacts provide new input, and existing contacts provide an opportunity to see yourself and the other from a different side. Therefore, cherish what you are used to and discover again and again who they are by meeting others and getting to know new facets of yourself, so that you can see your existing contacts from your new sides.

The other, whether it is David, Ann, Danijel or Elle, are all mirrors and valuable connections for me. They show me where my strength lies, what I can love in myself, what I cherish in a contact and where I can develop. And I am convinced that this also applies to them.

It seems that we need people to get to know ourselves. That by means of mirrors and reflection we are able to see both the light sides and the shadow sides in ourselves. To see yourself for who you are from the other person, ignoring all the make-up that is applied to everyone on a daily basis

What you do is not who you are. What the other person’s opinion is does not mean that you cannot learn from him or her, especially about yourself. And wherever you are in your life, whether you face huge challenges or are at the top of your own world – knowing who you really are is an ongoing process of discovery and development. Only in this way do you unleash your own possibilities, hidden talents and rid yourself of all unnecessary muck that sticks to you and that makes you believe that you are what you think, feel, find and do. That you need someone else to see that for yourself is just a wonderful example of the blind spots that make you aware that there is still plenty to learn about yourself – and vice versa

Here is my question for you: what does the other person mean to you?

I am curious for your reaction. So leave your comment below and I’ll be sure to follow up with you.

To your success,

Robert